Occasionally in my life I will come across holes, or feels or emptiness. Lately there has been the one hole that keeps appearing. It was at one point filled with my love and obsession with swing dancing. This of course is not to say that I don't love it anymore, but its different. Sometimes I find it very hard to accept the changes in my life.
In university I used to dance every week. In fourth year, I was the president of the club and I danced every Monday, had meetings on Tuesday, performance practice on Wednesday, and maybe also on Thursday, and was out-of-town at a weekend workshop for classes or at least for the dances two or three weekends a month.
Now, I dance sometimes. The fact that I have made it out-of-town twice this year so far excites me, but an event just passed, and I missed it. This is the second year in a row that I didn't compete at CSC (Canadian Swing Championships). Now while I hate to be in the spot light and become immensely self-conscious and nervous before performing, every time CSC passes, I miss how much fun I used to have dancing.
If you were to suggest that I go just start dancing more, its a little more complicated than that. There are two main reasons why this is hard.
The first, and I really do not mean to sound at all snobbish, is that the dancing in Kingston is not at a level which, for the most part, I really enjoy. You see every three or four years there is a wave of dancers who are dedicated enough to go and learn more and challenge themselves to become better. I was a part of the last wave, and the next wave hasn't hit yet. (Plus its hard when all the young twenty somethings don't understand whats its like outside of university yet).
So, second, if I was to dance more I would be drawn outside of Kingston. But, while I work a minimum wage job, that is composed of shift work and booking of a weekend costs me around a hundred dollars. And workshops cost travel and classes (90+), and dances (20+); it really does not seem feasible to go often.
Alas this leaves an empty spot that is only sometimes filled when I reminisce about past adventures or when I convince others to try the dance I love.
Sigh.
In university I used to dance every week. In fourth year, I was the president of the club and I danced every Monday, had meetings on Tuesday, performance practice on Wednesday, and maybe also on Thursday, and was out-of-town at a weekend workshop for classes or at least for the dances two or three weekends a month.
Now, I dance sometimes. The fact that I have made it out-of-town twice this year so far excites me, but an event just passed, and I missed it. This is the second year in a row that I didn't compete at CSC (Canadian Swing Championships). Now while I hate to be in the spot light and become immensely self-conscious and nervous before performing, every time CSC passes, I miss how much fun I used to have dancing.
If you were to suggest that I go just start dancing more, its a little more complicated than that. There are two main reasons why this is hard.
The first, and I really do not mean to sound at all snobbish, is that the dancing in Kingston is not at a level which, for the most part, I really enjoy. You see every three or four years there is a wave of dancers who are dedicated enough to go and learn more and challenge themselves to become better. I was a part of the last wave, and the next wave hasn't hit yet. (Plus its hard when all the young twenty somethings don't understand whats its like outside of university yet).
So, second, if I was to dance more I would be drawn outside of Kingston. But, while I work a minimum wage job, that is composed of shift work and booking of a weekend costs me around a hundred dollars. And workshops cost travel and classes (90+), and dances (20+); it really does not seem feasible to go often.
Alas this leaves an empty spot that is only sometimes filled when I reminisce about past adventures or when I convince others to try the dance I love.
Sigh.
