No more.

Breathe in. Breathe deep. Calm down. Exhale. Look around. Did anyone see? No, no one is looking at me at all. Good.
I have to watch myself. Can't let anyone see the pain in side. Oh, this is a terrible prison I've created for myself. I long to leave but feel so stuck and helpless.
To step outside these walls would mean confronting the pain head-on. How can I even consider that possibility when even now the pain can cripple me and leave me breathless in a matter of moments? I desire to be past all of this. I just want to be out on the otherside. Why do I have to traverse the depths to get there? That's too scary to ever consider. So I guess that this is the way that things are going to be. And I suppose as long as no one notice's that I'm broken I'm doing fine.